On Chance and Injury

This Week's Questions

• Do all injuries happen by chance?
• What is in the sub consciousness?
• How can I ease the suffering during and right after the birth moment of my child?

Do you know?

[Question 1] Do all injuries happen by chance? Is this because being startled is created by being caught unaware, something you do not expect?
[Answer] Yes, Jen, all injuries happen by chance. Why? Because no one can create with certainty the shock point in someone else's injuries. As you say, we get startled because we get caught unaware, by something we do not expect. This startling thing can even be a wonderful thing, such as a surprise birthday party. Afterwards, the person may hate surprise parties for the rest of her life.

The important thing to know here though is that, even if a large group of people were to experience the same shocking event, each person in the group would go into shock at a different point, leaving each person sensitized to a different set of stimuli. Why? Because we all go into shock unpredictably. Therefore, our literal injury points occur unpredictably as well.

Finally, if you are interested in reading about an actual case wherein this difference occurred, read my story on Parroting, especially the last third where I talk about how my younger sister and I both experienced the exact same startling instant but got BLocked in entirely different ways.

[Question 2] What is the true nature of our injuries? Do they lie dormant until an event triggers them again like a virus, or do they just work themselves out without a precipitating factor?
[Answer] BLocks are like hypnotic suggestions, only rather than the word "suggestion," wounds are more like Pavlov's conditioning where the last thing we witness becomes charged with the pain of the startle. Literally, this charge can be on anything, even simple things like words with no inherently negative meaning. For instance, the first time I found a "word" key, the word was "especially." Obviously, the word "especially," in and of itself, means nothing bad. In fact, it means nothing without something else to refer to. Even so, a therapist I know would dramatically go into shock each and every time he heard this word. Why? Well, obviously, not because it meant anything bad. He went into shock simply because the sound of this word caused him to relive a time wherein he had heard it and had been startled. The proof? I told him he was "especially good," and he still reacted as if I had insulted him. Until he emerged from this BLock.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Reacting painfully to the word, "especially." Even so, the minute this person heard this word, his whole reaction changed. Before the emergence, he would go into shock. Afterwards, he became surprised each time he heard me say the word and he did not react.

He also became able to stay connected to me and in fact, seemed drawn to do this. And although I have not seen this man in years, I'd be willing to bet he still loves this word. Effortlessly. And without mental interventions. Why? Because having an emergence reprogrammed his reaction to this word with the delightful feeling of us connecting.

Finally, in case you'd like to read the whole story, you can find it at "Especially Good."

[Question 3] I can’t picture this subconscious, obviously because we cannot see the subconscious. Is it what is behind the stopped clock?
[Answer] Not at all. The stopped clock" is one of the two "injured" faces of unconsciousness. Moreover, if you'd like to get a sense of what the subconscious is like, just think of a time where you began to flood with images, each image competing for space on the screen of your mind. This often happens to people when they are just about to heal, or when they are very close to healing, even if they cannot manage to go further. I, myself, have seen this happen on hikes wherein Vietnam Vets have been walking through the woods during Summer. Here, the green foliage has prompted them to start flooding with horrible memories, sometimes complete flash backs, and sometimes nothing but floods of fleetingly frightening images. At other times, they get so paralyzed they literally freeze right in their tracks.

My point is, we can see what is in the subconscious. We just cannot make out what is there clearly.

[Question 4] Does visual intensity determine the level of consciousness we experience in a given situation? Always?
[Answer] Yes. Always. More over, knowing this enables us to gauge the degree to which we are wounded. Or have healed. In fact, part of the delight we feel in the instant something emerges is the wonderful feeling we have when we finally become able to bring something we haven't been able to see into clear focus.

[Question 5] What is in the sub consciousness, memories of our profoundly connected moments, the pain of the loss of those moments, or both?
[Answer] Neither. It is simply the condition wherein we cannot bring into focus a single image. Thus, what we see there is more like a collection of rapidly scattering, blurry snippets than any actual blankness or clarity. In fact, visual impressions would be a good way to think of what we see in the subconscious. Thus, what we see in our subconscious is similar to what we see in the Impressionist paintings of the Nineteenth Century. Only the images in our minds are moving and changing and are never still.

As I think about it, a good way to describe the qualities of Impressionist paintings would be to say they mirror the artist's subconscious life.

[Question 6] Is it our purpose in life to move towards layer 10/9, braving past or through layer 8 of Aloneness to connect with the divine? What the bleep do I know?
[Answer] No layer is the right layer, Jen, and being conscious is not the goal. I believe our purpose in life is a mystery by design. Perhaps the closest thing to a purpose would be to know yourself, and in doing so, help others.

Being conscious of where you are in the layers is an incredible way to achieve this, as it greatly increases our chances to heal, learn, love, and grow. It also allows us to live incredibly useful and loving lives, even in those moments wherein we cannot get out of shock. Provided our goal in these times includes becoming the best human being we can be.

If there is one thing I would offer as advice here, it would be to strive to overcome blame. Blame is something I see as a poison in the human psyche. Not the only poison. But a significant poison. Even here though, to deny the blame we do feel is to deny being human. Moreover, to rid ourselves of blame requires we find the exact courage you infer in your question; the courage to face the aloneness we feel in our worst moments, followed by the courage to then strive to reach layers 9 & 10.

It helps of course to remember we do this best when we have consciously loving help. Physical, face to face help. Like the help we all exchange in the group.

[Question 7] Is this achieved by staying conscious in painful moments? Is life supposed to always be a struggle for consciousness?
[Answer] I'm not sure. These are deep questions, Jen. The Buddhists would say yes, life is a struggle to become and remain conscious.

The closest answer I can come to is that becoming more conscious is the method, not the goal. Connecting to people is the goal. Why? Because connecting to people means you become able to be of greater service to the world at large, especially if you use the consciousness you gain to teach others to become more conscious as well.

[Question 8] How can I ease the suffering of aloneness during / after the birth moment of my child? Is this possible?
[Answer] In theory, yes, it is possible. I'm not sure how much you'd want to do this though. Shock helps ease suffering.

What you might want to try to avoid is to try to avoid being startled while you're hyperaware. In fact, if you startle, your newborn will startle. Thus, I'd work on this, perhaps by doing some visualization work with your husband. In this way, you can at least minimize the effects when this does happen. Which it will. Thus, no matter how we try to make it otherwise, birth is startling by nature. Moreover, we are not meant to prevent this in any way. Or capable. What we are capable of is healing whatever gets BLocked in the instants in which we do get startled, and to do this as deeply, gently, and as quickly as possible would be a very good goal to work towards.

[Question 9] How can human consciousness be fractal other than it is naturally irregular in pattern and structure?
[Answer] Fractals are the most amazing discovery. They literally describe the nature of every single thing in our world. Moreover, all you would have to do in order to grasp what a fractal is would be to simply picture a big fluffy Cumulus cloud floating across a blue Summer sky. In fact, try it. Imagine you are laying on your back in a big open field, where breezes are blowing tall grasses while you gaze up at the sky. Now imagine this cloud slowing crossing the sky. Can you see how it reinvents itself over and over again?

In truth then, this Cumulus cloud would never once be the same shape. Yet we have no trouble identifying it as a Cumulus cloud rather than a Stratus cloud. Why? Because of the pattern, the fractal essence which to our minds, identifies these two types of clouds as being very, very different in nature.

Our minds, at their most basic level, organize things into similarly grouped fractal patterns. You saw this recently when Jack (age 2 1/2) looked down at baby Hawkin's ( age 6 months) plastic, push-together, toy bracelet and called it a "baby watch." How did he come up with these words? He used fractal pattern recognition, the same thing we all use to group things in our minds into a comprehensible system.

This same fractal, pattern recognition idea holds true even for our injuries, in that once something takes on a charge, we react to it, and to all similar patterns of sound, smell, sight, taste of touch as if they are all the same. For instance, every time we misunderstand someone, especially in those terrible moments wherein we fight with our spouses or family members, we experience the fractal nature of injury when we fight the same fight over and over again. Infinitely different in some ways and yet, the same fractal response pattern. You know, as in same fight, different day.

The day is different. But the fractal source and response patterns stored in our minds are similar enough to make us believe we are reliving the same event as that which injured us in the first place. Moreover, this happens to us no matter who we are and no matter how spiritually evolved we may otherwise be.

[Question 10] To what extent can a two to three year old consciously experience the arrival of a new baby within the family?
[Answer] To a very great extent, young children can consciously experience a new baby brother or sister arrive. In fact, most times, I think they can do this even more consciously than the parents. Very much more so. What he or she cannot do is be aware of what this means to him or her. After all, if this is the oldest child, then this two to three year old has no precedent. And if this is a child who has an older sibling, then this older sibling will help.

Since I know you to be asking this question with a personal need in mind, know that what might help you is for you to ask your son's day care workers to be especially watchful as to his interactions with others. You might even want to deliberately put him is some situations wherein he sees you interact with someone else's infant, especially a situation wherein he has to wait for your attention. In the middle of this then, try to get him to connect to you. Or get John to help him to connect with you.

Having this kind of experience would definitely help prepare him. And you.