Plain Talk about Talk Therapy explores the nature of talk therapy, everything from why people go and how to know it's working to how to evaluate your therapist. A weekly series. http://www.theEmergenceSite.com/Emergence-Talk-Therapy-Talk.xml Copyright 2007 The Emergence Alliance Inc en-us Sun, 5 Aug 2007 18:10:07 -0400 Sun, 5 Aug 2007 17:48:35 -0400 FeedForAll v2.0 (2.0.1.0) http://www.feedforall.com People who write books tend to get scrutinized quite a bit. Therapists who write books tend to consider this as they write. Me? I think it best to just put yourself out there and let people draw their own conclusions. And yes. Controversial topics like talk therapy and the mind body connection do tend to provoke some rather pointed personal attacks. Especially from the ever fearful mud slingers who defend the established views. But what the heck. I'd rather be a mud covered Lincoln, or Tesla, than a pigeon-dung covered statue any day. Wouldn't you? http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070806P.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070806P.htm Sun, 5 Aug 2007 17:48:35 -0400 Have you ever had to say goodbye to a good friend, knowing you might never see them again? Did you, in this goodbye, speak of what you had learned from the relationship? This then is what we're about to do. Say our goodbyes. How? By touching on the highlights of what we've talked about. And by me telling you what I have learned from writing this book. The truth? I've learned a lot. Some of which I hope will better your life or the life of someone you sit with regularly. Therapist. Client. Friend. Whomever. And you? Did you come away with anything? Were you surprised by anything you read? Did I get you mad at me at times? Have I raised any new questions in you? If so, know we may have more in common than you as yet may imagine. As you're about to find out in this the epilogue to Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070730E.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070730E.htm Sun, 29 Jul 2007 10:44:54 -0400 Have you ever felt unsure as to whether you were dreaming or awake? How about whether what you thought was real was really real. Ever felt confused about that? In truth, we all feel these things at one time or another. And even if all you were baffled by was a well placed shadow or a hand and finger rabbit, reality can be quite an elusive thing. Especially if you are deeply engrossed in a visually intriguing interlude. A movie. An infatuation. A new born baby cat. In this, the final chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to explore the thing we claim we are looking for in talk therapy. We're going to explore reality. And how what we visualize affects our perception of it. Are you sure what you saw in the shadows was not the boogie man? How can you be sure? Are you sure? Let's see. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070723.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070723.htm Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:34:09 -0400 We're almost done with the book. Can you feel it? Yet as far as discussing talk therapy, we've only just begun. Okay. So yes. You knew this already. But did you also know that these two feelings are what people should feel throughout the course of talk therapy? After all, we are one of the deepest mysteries in the Universe. Human beings. Then again, the real mystery here is where what we think and feel comes from. As well as whether our memories contain what we think and feel. Never thought about it? Well you should. Especially since being asked what you think and feel in therapy conflicts with what I've been saying about the mind and body. Not sure what I'm getting at? You're about to find out, in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070716.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070716.htm Sun, 15 Jul 2007 15:22:53 -0400 How would you rate your ability to stay focused, especially on new ideas? Are you quick to catch on, or do you usually need more time? Can you learn from reading, or are you better hands on? And how's your attention span? Are you easily distracted, or can you stay on track? Do you in fact have ADD? This then is what we're about to explore. How getting distracted affects your ability to learn. Including that folks with ADD learn some things better than those who don't have it. Does this surprise you? Does it contradict what you know? Can you guess what I'm referring to? Let's see. In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070709.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070709.htm Sun, 8 Jul 2007 19:36:14 -0400 Of all the issues I hear in therapy, no ongoing issue seems to frustrate people more than being overweight. Broken hearts. They mend eventually. Death and dismemberment. A snap. But being overweight? Whew. It's the bane of banes. So now, let me ask you. Has overeating been a problem for you? Have you struggled with your weight? Have you dieted and failed or regained the weight? Is there is a way to manage overeating? These are the questions we're about to explore, in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070702.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070702.htm Sun, 1 Jul 2007 14:58:50 -0400 In this chapter, we're going to look at an aspect of addiction rarely discussed. The mind body influence. To do this, we'll touch briefly on the cliché addictions; alcohol and drugs. As well as on a few of the other addictions; sex, gambling, and exercise. Food? We'll be leaving that for the next chapter. And yes. There are addictive qualities to overeating. Wolfing down a pink of Cherry Garcia can be pretty compulsive. And painful. But is overeating food the same as snorting heroin? Do the differences even matter? And what can a talk therapist do to help people with this stuff anyway? You want answers? Well, okay. You're about to get them. At least, the one that counts the most. In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070625.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070625.htm Sun, 24 Jun 2007 20:29:31 -0400 Ever felt like someone you were speaking to wasn't there? How about a therapist? Ever had one whom you felt wasn't listening or just plain didn't get what you were saying? In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to explore what underlies these uncomfortable experiences. The feelings I call, "hollowness." Not from the psychological perspective, mind you. Rather, from the mind body perspective. Why do we feel this kind of hollowness? Is there something inherently wrong with us? For instance, are we all just bad listeners at times? Or is this hollowness more a normal feeling? Do you know? Let's see. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070618.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070618.htm Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:36:56 -0400 In the past two chapters, I've introduced you to some of the theoretical underpinnings beneath the mechanism which connects the mind and the body. The philosophy behind this mechanism, and the physics which supports it. In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy then, we're going to begin to look at how this theory plays out in real life situations. Specifically at how it affects our abilities to connect. To ourselves. To others. And to the ideas and beliefs we hear and say to ourselves and others. For instance, why is it we so often feel disconnected from each other. Do we do this to protect ourselves? Is it weakness or injury? Or are we exactly as we should be, disconnections and all? Can this inability to connect be healthy in fact? Do you know? Are you sure? Let's look together. http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070611.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070611.htm Sun, 10 Jun 2007 21:13:28 -0400 In the last chapter, we looked at the four philosophers whose work underlies what I've been telling you; that the mind and body connect through our perception of time. Why begin with philosophy? Because the primary clue to uncovering the actual mind body connection lies in how we psychologically experience this connection rather than in some physical location, such as within our brains. In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to look at the other end of the psychophysical continuum; the actual laws of physics which underlie these psychological experiences. Specifically the psychophysics underlying audio video recordings and how we technologically sync multiple media sources when we mix them down to one data stream. Did you just go into shock? Not sure where this is going? Don't worry. Just remember. The key to understanding the mind body connection lies not in understanding our physiology but rather in understanding how we experience it. Thus while we are indeed looking for the actual connection, we will not be looking for an actual physical location. Why not? Because there is none. Don't believe me? Let's see. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070604.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070604.htm Sun, 3 Jun 2007 12:45:54 -0400 Anyone whose practice involves psychology, science, or religion will at one time or another face the questions inherent in Cartesian dualism; whether the mind and body are separate and if so how they can interact. Moreover this holds true whether you be a surgical M.D., brain researcher, a professor of theology, or a talk therapist. In addition, for chapters now, I've been telling you things about something I've discovered; the actual mechanism which connects the mind. And what this discovery implies. In the next few chapters, we'll explore the history and science behind these statements. Who and what I'm basing my work on, and how I can be so bold. Beginning in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070528.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070528.htm Sun, 27 May 2007 07:26:03 -0400 In the last chapter, I introduced to you the idea that the way we sense time in our bodies and minds is what connects our minds to our bodies. Not clock time, mind you. Relative time. The kind Einstein talked about. The thing is, in order to address this connection in therapy, we must first be able to sense the differences between the perceptions of the body and the perceptions of the mind. Not just the timing of what we perceive mind you. The content itself. Our literal perceptions. This then is what we are about to explore, in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. We are going to explore perception itself. Not from the cold and distant philosophical perspective. Rather from the normal everyday way in which we all perceive life. The ordinary warm and mostly fussy human perspective. Which happens to be the same perspective we explore from in talk therapy. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070521.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070521.htm Sun, 20 May 2007 10:25:36 -0400 When serious therapists mention about the mind - body connection, they usually end up being seen as less credible. Andrew Weil? An M.D.? Well okay. But talk therapists? Not really. The thing is, of all the concepts a talk therapist could possibly explore, the mind - body connection turns out to be the most important of all. Why? This is what we'll be exploring in the next few chapters; what makes the connection between the body and the mind so potent and why do so many experts disdain this idea. Do you think you already know why? We're about to take our a look, in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070514.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070514.htm Sun, 13 May 2007 12:00:28 -0400 Who do you blame when things go wrong? Yourself? Someone else? The world in general? Whatever your answer, don't fret. Despite what we've all been told about not blaming, we all do it at times. The thing is, most of the blaming we do we don't even intend to do. It just comes out of us. Moreover, there's even a time when choosing to blame someone can make things better. Can you imagine? This then will be our topic in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. Blame. What it is. Why we do it. And what is good about it. Do you think you already know? You may. Just the same, let's see. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070507.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070507.htm Sun, 6 May 2007 10:03:48 -0400 A question I have been asked many times over the years is, "what kind of therapy do you do?" In part, what makes this hard to answer is that there are so many therapies now. Why all these therapies? And is there a "special something" the good ones all have in common? As it turns out, there is a "special something" all the good ones have in common. More important, this "special something" can be described with a fractal. Can you imagine? A fractal for good therapy. This then is what we are about to explore, in this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy. Can you guess what the "special something" is? Let's find out, shall we. http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070430.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070430.htm Sun, 29 Apr 2007 13:00:00 -0400 Have you ever been asked how your therapy is going? Has anyone ever told you this is one of the more difficult questions we could ever be asked? What makes it so difficult? Because, while we might be feeling a whole lot better, feeling better does not always mean we are better. Why not? Mainly because being symptom free does not guarantee we have healed anything. In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy then, we'll explore this question. As well as the struggle we often feel between wanting to feel better and wanting to heal. Do you know which struggle I'm referring to here? Let's see. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070423.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070423.htm Sun, 22 Apr 2007 13:00:00 -0400 Although normal folks rarely refer to it this way, all of us feel "high" at times. On life. On love. On winning. On bargains. The odd thing is, despite the obvious and not so subtle differences between these events and addictions, all highs feel remarkably similar. Why bring this up? Because it turns out that our not being able to personally discern between these highs is one of the more important flaws in our nature, especially with regard to what makes us susceptible to addiction. People. Drugs. Food. Whatever. If it can get us high, we can get addicted to it. In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to explore getting high. Or as therapists call it, feeling "euphoric." Hopefully you'll come away with a good sense of what makes euphoria the main symptom of addiction. Ready? http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070416.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070416.htm Sun, 15 Apr 2007 16:26:42 -0400 Have you ever been addicted to something or someone? Did you notice your addiction changed your perception of time? In this chapter of Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to look at how this feeling defines addiction. What is addiction anyway? Do you know? The truth is, it's simpler than anyone has ever imagined. Let's look together, shall we (smile). http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070409.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070409.htm Sun, 8 Apr 2007 13:01:02 -0400 Most people go to therapy because something hurts them. In essence, they go to feel better. For many though, these improvements all but disappear within months of therapy ending. Why is this? Is therapy temporary by design. Is it that we backslide this badly; out of sight, out of mind. Or is there something more to why this happens. Something we could be doing differently. The week, in our ongoing series, Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to explore why some therapy does not last. We're also going to contrast this with therapy of the more permanent variety. Do you know what makes them different? Let's find out. http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070402.htm http://theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070402.htm Sun, 1 Apr 2007 11:12:36 -0400 I often hear confessions in first sessions. A common one is, "I'll probably be here a long time. I'm really that screwed up." Sadly, this reveals a lot about human nature, including how many of us feel about having problems. This then begs the question, so if people feel ashamed for having problems, and if therapists are people, then why go to a therapist? Won't the therapist's shame get in the way of our work? This week, in Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to look at the shame we feel for still having problems. We're also going look at why even the most dedicated and spiritual of people can never heal all their wounds. Do you know why? Let's find out. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070326.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070326.htm Sun, 25 Mar 2007 14:45:32 -0400 Have you ever apologized to a therapist for walking in with nothing to talk about? Has a therapist ever told you this can lead to the best sessions? The week, in our ongoing series, Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we'll explore how walking in with things to say in therapy can impair your progress. Conversely, how walking in with nothing to say can lead to profound insights. If you know what to do with this state of mind. Do you know? Let's see. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070319.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070319.htm Sat, 17 Mar 2007 21:06:03 -0400 Is your therapist a "good" therapist? How do you know? Is it that you always feel better after seeing her? Is it that he makes you feel safe and secure? The week, in our ongoing series, Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we're going to explore how to know if your therapist is the right therapist for you. Or the wrong therapist. Do you think you know how to tell already? Let's find out. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070312.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070312.htm Sun, 11 Mar 2007 10:48:48 -0400 Have you ever gone to a new therapist and been asked, "so what brought you here," only to have your mind go blank? What makes this happen? Is it that we get intimidated by this question or is it something deeper? The week, in our ongoing series, Plain Talk about Talk Therapy, we'll explore whether "issues" even exist. Do they? Let's find out. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070305.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070305.htm Sun, 4 Mar 2007 10:49:37 -0500 Have you ever gone to a therapist, then been asked, "is it helping?" If yes then what made you say this? And what made you go into therapy in the first place? How about referring to a therapist. Has a friend ever asked you to do this? If so, what made you make the referral; "I really liked him?" "She really helped me?" "I heard she was good?" "He called me on my stuff?" In truth, most people enter therapy either not knowing what to expect or expecting something like what they saw on television. What does make people go to therapy then? The week, in a new thirty week series on Learning as The Therapy, we'll explore this question. http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070226.htm http://www.theemergencesite.com/Therapy/LearningAsATherapy-Wk070226.htm Sun, 25 Feb 2007 10:45:11 -0500